I have a Massage Envy membership. Whatever, I can afford it.
I got one the other day, but it wasn’t pleasant. I was having some kind of anxiety attack the whole time. It was weird. Here I am in what’s suppose to be the most relaxing situation possible for humans but at the same time going through this inner torment that at any second is going to cause me to awkwardly sit up and stop the therapist from touching me, then explaining I’m actually going through some kind of episode right now, “I um, I gotta go”. No, that’ll be really weird. It’ll also hurt the therapist’s self-esteem, thinking she really sucks at her job. So I didn’t get up. I layed there, mind racing a million different things, stinging dark thoughts, positive vs. negative thoughts battling fiercely. I haven’t had this kind of feeling in years. Totally random. Is it the lifestyle I’ve been living and it’s all catching up to me and I’m now subconsciously feeling guilty? Was it something new that I’ve been eating, the Gungho supplements? Am I not exercising enough? Some natural act of nature that takes it’s course no matter what? The lady’s just beating on my shoulders, causing more bloodflow to my head, I’m breathing huge deep breathes. In through my nose, out through my mouth. Oh the irony.
I make it through the hour and immediately call Taylor.
Andrew: Oh good, you picked up, dude, I think I just got a taste of what you’ve been going through the last couple months.
Taylor: Oh wow, what happened.
Andrew: Well I just got this massage, and it was like the worst massage of my life. I’ve been having these really dark thoughts.
Taylor: Shoot man, well I’m at the apt.
Andrew: Ok, I’ll see you in a sec.
I get home, Taylor’s sitting on the couch. I sit down on the arm chair.
Taylor: (kind of sarcastic) So…. You had a shitty massage huh.
There’s about a 2 second pause then we both bust out laughing.
“haha nevermind man.”
I felt fine soon after that. It wasn’t anything too significant. But I felt like writing about it.
Thanks For Reading,
Salt Lake City, UT