I’ll start to write something on here and then a couple sentences in I think “What’s the point?” and go back to Facebook or whatever mindless activity I was doing before. You could say I’ve been going through somewhat of an existential crisis lately. My sleep schedule’s been pretty whack which is normal but I’m doing ok for the most part. I’ve had some near death allergy experiences this year for the first time, I never had them as a kid. Two of my close friends got prescribed Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant, in the last 3 months and I’m thinking of joining that club. It’s hard to pinpoint what the real problem is though. Is laziness the same as depression? I just can’t seem to get motivated to do anything anymore. Dramatic introverted bitch. I dunno. I still skate a lot which is good. Skateboarding will always be there for me as long as I have functioning legs and motor movement. Not sure if I’m getting as much from my videos as you guys are. Well, some of you. Based on the unlisted interview videos, there’s an estimated 1-2k of you that read this. I’m always surprised when someone on Twitter gets upset over the lack of posting here. This blog serves above anyone else, me, my own pent-up energy to get some things off my chest. I don’t really confess anything too crazy on here anyway. Maybe I just like the way the keys bounce off my fingertips making that subtle chatter that says something’s getting done. Back to “What’s the point?”, I always think ‘Money’. This blog maybe profits me $3 a month or something from the few amazon links I’ve planted in various places. Then I think oh Duh why am I not vlogging everyday on lahwfextra, building that following/stream, so much money to be made there. Then I think how boring/tedious/silly vlogging is and if it’s really worth it. A lot of Youtube and it’s culture annoys the shit out of me. Youtube doesn’t quite have the respect of people older than 22 just yet, not as Netflix or Hulu, not among my friends anyway. I wanna change that. I wish I could sleep at night. I made the split decision two nights ago to fly to Austin where my friend Joe lives, he’s got a channel, quietassassins. We filmed a bunch today, mainly for his channel, a little for mine. We’ll film again today for mine, hopefully getting some good shots. I think I have about 3 hours on computer of unused footage I’ve never uploaded, because most of it’s junk, I dunno it’s just not interesting, a lot of ideas are only funny on paper. That’s just part of the process though.
Thanks For Reading,